5 Techniques to Communicate Assertively
Assertive communication is the type of communication that everyone should aim for when talking with others. It is the balance between passive communication and aggressive communication. It is communicating your thoughts, feelings, and opinions clearly and effectively without disrespecting others around you. Use the five techniques below to help you communicate assertively.
Be confident when you speak or walk into a room. Confidence means that you believe in yourself and your abilities. When other people see your confidence, they won’t feel the need to question or challenge it to do your confident behavior.
Make sure you deliver your message clearly and concisely. Be sure your talking points are aligned and flow with the direction the conversation is moving. Don’t confuse people with too many talking points or subjects that don’t align with one another.
Be calm and controlled with your tone of voice and the speed at which you are talking. You want to sound relaxed and not rushed or irritated. Talking fast can make people feel confused, which will not make them feel trusting.
Stop Being A People Pleaser
Assertive communication does not mean you will change everyone's mind and get your way every single time. However, assertive communication does include making sure those around you know who you truly are while preventing them from trying to walk all over you. People pleasers, as lovely as they are, tend to get taken advantage of because they want to make sure everyone is happy.
Be Present in The Moment
When communicating, be present and in the moment. Don’t dwell on past mistakes or think about others who are not in the conversation unless it leads in that direction. Truly listen to what is being said. Repeat the message to be sure you and they know you understand them. Pay attention to every word they say, don’t say, and their body language, too, so you can respond appropriately. Missing details or bringing up other things can cause distrust and will ultimately lead to aggressive communication.
Fogging is an excellent technique designed to eliminate hostile confrontation in a conversation with passive or aggressive communicators.
For example, if a co-worker asks, “Why didn’t you turn in the assignment, you said you would help me with? I am over your lying and trying to deceive me!” You can reply, “Yes, I did not turn the assignment in when I thought I would. I can see this has upset you.” The idea is to have a response that is calm and truthful but doesn’t fully agree with what they are saying to prevent arguing or a negative response.
Developing assertive communication skills takes time and practice. Remember these techniques, and you will be more successful in your career and relationships.