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9 Effective Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

9 Effective Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People

Sadly, almost everyone must deal with a difficult person from time to time. The problem is that not everyone is equally prepared or skilled to do so. If you want to be better with people learning good communication tactics will help.

  • Set Yourself Up for Success – If you know in advance that you may need to deal with a difficult person, prepare for it. Plan how you’ll control yourself, respond and react to the person so you both experience success.
  • Listen More Than You Speak – When you deal with people, listen more than you speak and aim for a better understanding to solve more problems.
  • Set Limits and Boundaries –It’s not aggressive to set limits with others. This helps you stay on track while helping others understand your priorities and realistic expectations.
  • Keep Calm and Be Courteous – Even if other people are demanding or loud, keep calm, and continue to be courteous. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into the dramatics of others.
  • Avoid Being Defensive – A difficult person may want you to focus on something inappropriate, which can come in the form of implying something that makes you feel defensive. Don’t fall for the ploy. Just take a deep breath and move to the next conversation point.
  • Address Needs and Provide Solutions – Difficult people tend to focus on needs and solutions rather than feelings and emotions. Keep conversations low-key and on point.
  • Get Help from An Ally – If a person is especially difficult, you may need help from an ally that the difficult person respects. For example, in a divorce, you may need to hire a professional mediator to help you both.
  • Don’t Make Demands – When someone is difficult, they may make demands of you. People don’t generally calm down when told or stop adverse reactions just because you want them to. Just move past the reactions by ignoring anything that is not conducive to the issues.
  • Be More Self-Controlled – Dealing with difficult people requires that you find a way to keep your emotions in check. Practice self-control in your interactions.

Getting good at dealing with difficult people is a skill that will carry you far, in life. You’ll be more likely to negotiate good deals, and you’ll be seen as the type of person that brings people together which is a good sign of a prosperous leader.

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Be More Assertive When You’re Shy

Be More Assertive When You’re Shy

The very first thing you need to do if you want to be more assertive in your life is to understand what assertive is and what it isn’t. Being assertive does not mean that you are aggressive. You don’t have to be rude to be assertive. To be more assertive simply means that you stand up for yourself, speak up at the time that it’s needed, and respect the rights of others.

Prepare and Practice

Whenever you want to be better at something, the best thing you can do is overprepare and practice. You can practice by doing assertive things in a small way, such as practicing saying no. But you can also use visualization to practice so that when you find yourself in specific situations, you can fall back on the way you visualized it.

Find a Few Seconds of Courage

You don’t really need to be brave for very long to speak up for yourself. You simply need a few seconds of courage to stand up and say what you wanted to say calmly, clearly, and directly.

Choose Your Communication Channel Wisely

When you have something to say that is important to you think about your audience. What is the best way for them to receive the information from you? Is it best heard in person or best in a letter or an email? How about a text. It’s important to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it before doing it.

Act Confident Even When You’re Not

Your granny likely told you to “fake it until you make it” and there is a lot of goodness and truth in that advice. However, don’t think that you’re being dishonest when you act confident, even if you don’t fully feel it right away. Most people aren’t really going to know you’re nervous. Just speak up anyway. The more you do it, the more it’ll feel natural.

Speak Slowly and Remember to Breathe

When you do finally speak up at the right time, take a deep breath, and say what you need to say slowly and clearly. Speaking fast might make you trip over your words and cause miscommunication.

Make Eye Contact with People

A lot of people have issues with eye contact, but they are completely honest people. Even if you have an issue with it, understand that most people in the USA, at least find it off-putting if you don’t make eye contact. But remember you don’t have to make eye contact all the time, just part of the time. It’s not a staring contest.

Know That Saying No is Okay

Learning to say no is part of being assertive. If you’re a people pleaser, it’s easy to get into the habit of always saying yes and being that quiet person that everyone counts on. Try saying no to some of the things you don’t want to do or really don’t have time to do as practice.

Learn to Make “I” Statements

When you speak, since it’s not an academic paper, use “I” statements. I think, and I feel are the ways you can express yourself to others in a way that makes them hear you. Because what you think, and feel is important.

If your issue is genuinely shyness, or about being an introvert, practicing will help you become more assertive. However, if you think you have deeper issues such as social anxiety you may want to speak to a professional to help you move past it. Hiring a counselor or a life coach can help you break through if you’re having issues getting there.

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