Success Is Hiding in Your Self-Worth
Success Is Hiding in Your Self-Worth
Do you sometimes wonder why success keeps eluding you? You follow the rules of success – but do you really believe, in your heart-of-hearts, that you deserve it? You may be hiding your key to success in your feelings of self-worth.
The term gas lighting refers to a person’s mind being manipulated by another to make the person feel useless or ignorant. Sometimes, we gas light our own minds by negative self-talk and a continual belief that we don’t deserve success.
Self-worth can be connected to many things – a childhood where you were constantly put down and criticized or a past where you were mired in mistakes and developed low self-esteem as an adult.
It may not be easy to find your true self-worth and you may have to dig deep to believe you deserve success, but it is possible. You can transform your thinking from beaten down to believing you can do anything you put your mind to.
Success Isn’t Based on Superficial Feelings
Superficial judgments about success aren’t the measure of true success. Feelings of inadequacy can haunt you throughout your life and keep you from accomplishing what you’re capable of.
How good looking you are (compared to others), shyness that keeps you from socializing or lack of skills and/or education are superficial and won’t make or break your future success.
What will hinder your dreams of success is harboring on those feelings of inadequacy so that you don’t even try. Real success is based on the willingness to work hard, think big and ability to cheer yourself on with positive self-talk and appropriate actions.
Keep in mind that if you hate what you’re doing, success will likely keep eluding you. So, don’t work hard doing what someone else thinks you should do – or what you’ve fooled yourself into believing.
Find your own passion and be specific in the steps you’ll need to take to realize success in your chosen path. On your way to success, try to live a balanced life. When you’re torn in many different directions it’s impossible to focus on what you need to be successful.
Finally, taking the actions needed to succeed in your chosen path will dim the thoughts of failure and make you see that you can do anything you set your mind to. In time, you’ll look back and see that those actions did much more than get you closer to your goals.
Each small goal that you reach leads you to the next and you’ll eventually land on top of the ladder and realize that you did it by believing fully in yourself and your abilities.
Some of the World’s Most Shocking Success Stories Should Inspire You
If you’re having trouble finding the inspiration to be successful, you need look no further than history. Some of the most successful people who ever lived began with nothing but the belief in themselves that they could and would become successful.
Bill Gates is a success story that happened in our time. The fact that he worked day and night in his garage on his dream of creating software that would change the world is proof of his belief in himself.
Now, besides being one of the richest men in the world, Gates is a philanthropist, humanitarian and author. He created one of the most successful businesses the world has ever seen – Microsoft Corporation.
Milton Hershey started and failed at three candy companies before he hit it big with Hershey’s. Hershey had been fired from a printing company and made several attempts to succeed in the candy business before he finally succeeded.
He never lost faith that he could get past his bleak failures and eventually reap the benefits of success. All through history, men and women have overcome self-doubt to create empires.
J.K. Rowling, the woman author whose books and ideas were rejected numerous times, eventually hit the jackpot with her Harry Potter series. She grew up on the border of England and Wales knowing that she would write.
Rowling’s first story at the age of six was about a rabbit. It drew praise from her parents, leading Rowling to tell them that she was going to publish it. It wasn’t that easy. Rowling was a single mother and living on welfare before her book was accepted for publication.
Many success stories are shocking simply because the ordinary person would have given up long before success happened. The hardships endured by many of these successes would have made the normal person doubt him- or herself and give up.
What sets these successful humans apart from others? They never listened to the doubters in their lives and continued in spite of all the failures they experienced. They all had firm belief in themselves and their abilities.
All the guides and well-written books about how to be successful aren’t worth a dime unless you are prepared to face rejection and carry on with your plans with a courage and commitment that keeps you going.
You can find all the inspiration you need in the success stories of others. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself and your path to success, read about how others did it and learn and be inspired.
When Someone Says You Can’t, Prove You Can
Sometimes all it takes is for someone telling you that you can’t do something to make you want to prove that you can. For others, those demeaning words cut down self-worth and cause them to give up.
Walt Disney, the famous business icon who turned a dream into a multi-billion dollar business always told others that if you dream it, you can do it. To develop that can-do attitude, you’ve got to shore up your self-worth and forge ahead with your ideas.
Opening yourself up to new challenges and opportunities that can put you at the top of your game is a motivation too in itself. Forget about what the naysayers are trying to make you think – that you’re not good enough, smart enough or attractive enough.
Rather than let the critics get you down, take actions to prove them wrong. This won’t happen unless you think positively and push those negative thoughts from your mind. Tweak your lifestyle and habits so that you are constantly moving forward with energy.
To combat the negatives that others throw at you, develop the positive mindset that will help you win at everything you set out to do. Rather than waiting for success to come knocking at your door, do whatever it takes and let nothing stand in your way.
This way of thinking gives you some flexibility to meet all the challenges rather than just those you’ve planned for. The doing whatever it takes mindset opens a universe of possibilities.
You’ll have more energy to meet the goals you set for yourself and more resourceful in finding answers to obstacles that threaten to stand in your way. Your self-worth will soar to new heights because you’re more confident that you’ll be successful in your endeavors.
When you successfully internalize the can-do mindset, you’ll naturally find ways to maintain that way of thinking. You may decide that meditation helps you center yourself and stay focused or embark on a healthy diet and exercise program.
Laying a foundation of a positive mindset keeps you from listening to those who would demean your efforts and shatter your self-worth. When you’re fortified from the inside out with confidence in yourself you’ll create a barrier to negativity.
When you have a couple of wins in your belt, it becomes more difficult for you to listen to others and doubt yourself. Wins provide proof to yourself and others that you are bound for success and will let nothing stand in your way.
Be Mindful of Your Decisions to Help Boost Your Success
The decisions you make about your course in life could boost you on to success or set you back. The course of history has been changed by one person’s decision to succeed or to give up. Pay attention to every choice you make and choose carefully.
Some decisions are more important to your life than others. For example, the decision about which television program to watch during an evening at home is much less important than choosing a life-mate.
The more that’s at stake with your decision making – the more thought you should give it. Become strategic in your thinking process rather than impulsive and determine how much weight an ultimate decision will carry toward your future success.
Think about why you’re making the decision and what the impact on your life (and others) will be. Blind faith can be used at times when the impact is extremely minimal – like choosing which outfit to wear for a party – but larger impact decisions requires more mindfulness.
The reasoning power of your mind will affect the decision you make in the end. Gather all the information you can about the subject and then determine how it will benefit or hinder you from future success.
It may help to determine just how many choices you have from which to choose. Cross out the ones that won’t work at all and then choose from those that have a possibility of working – and those that will definitely work.
When you know what you options are you can make an informed decision based on the data you collected. Also, ask yourself who will benefit from your decision and who might suffer.
Decisions about important medical procedures warrant a second opinion – and it might work for some of the difficult decisions you have to make. Friends or family members you trust or an expert on the subject in question can help you make a good decision.
Emotions sometimes play a large part in decision-making. Your gut feeling about a decision that must be made is a good thing, but it should be mixed with some logic. Emotions aren’t always accurate, but using only logic as your guidance isn’t enough when making crucial decisions that will affect many people.
Just as you learn from failures, so will you learn from your poor choices. If time proves that your decision wasn’t the right one, accept the consequences and move on. It may be possible for you to correct the course and get back on track.
Don’t be afraid to make decisions. It’s how you learn. Use these techniques to help with your decision making tasks knowing that you might get some wrong, but with practice you’ll begin to get it right more than not.
Your Future Isn’t Anchored to Your Parents’ Past
You needn’t take on your parents’ past mistakes as proof of your own self-worth and potential for success. You are very much an individual with a separate sense of purpose and have the potential to set a new standard for your lineage.
Many studies have been conducted about how parents’ hold the keys to their children’s success in life. It’s true that parents’ have an enormous influence on their children’s psyche and their potential for success.
It’s also true that your future successes aren’t anchored to how your parents raised you or what they accomplished throughout their lives. You may not be able to forget the past, but you can make peace with it and stop limiting yourself.
To set yourself free of your parent’s past mistakes, it’s important that you take responsibility for your own happiness and success. When you blame others, you’ll prevent yourself from achieving. The anger and resentment will weigh you down.
Keeping those feelings alive by dwelling in the past keeps you mired in muck and will definitely affect your possibilities of future success. You’re solidifying those negative feelings by thinking of them and delaying your future happiness.
Healing from those destructive thoughts about yours and your parents’ past mistakes requires that you make a concerted effort to let them go. When you refuse to give them credence, they’ll stop having an impact in the way you see yourself.
Rerouting your parents’ past can provide all the motivation you need to change your life and especially your future to the best advantage. You don’t have to forget about the past to change it – you only need to have the determination that lies within you.
The only past you have to deal with is your own. If you’ve made mistakes along the way, make them teaching experiences and vow not to let it happen again. Repeating the mistakes and failures over and over again in your mind holds you back.
As you let go of the past mistakes of your parents, you’ll become stronger and better able to understand what makes you who you are – and how it differs from the paths your parents took.
Defining yourself as being a victim of your parents’ past is limiting your future success. It’s only when you break away and claim freedom that you can turn your thoughts and efforts to how to achieve your own, personal success in life.
Breaking free of those feelings about the past means that you have to live in the present moment and stop feeding your resentment or feelings of low self-worth. Turn your focus to the present moment, change your perspective and plan your successful future.
Put Blinders on If You Need to Move Past Self Doubt to Succeed
It may be difficult to rid yourself of the thoughts and actions that promote self-doubt and keep you from succeeding. When you always see yourself as a victim or as a person not worthy of success, you won’t get very far in your desire to succeed.
Comparing yourself to others such as coworkers and various competitors who have already succeeded will keep you mired in self-doubt. Social media can sometimes increase the self-doubt because of all the success feedback from others.
If you can’t control the negativity and destructive self-talk, the solution may be to tune out of all the chatter and focus on your own dreams and goals. Many times you just have to put blinders on all the braggers and naysayers and focus on your own journey.
That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t acknowledge that the doubt if valid. The self-doubt comes from your past and things that have gone unresolved. If you can’t seem to resolve them, the best thing you can do is move on.
Get rid of some of the thoughts that are holding you back by taking action. When you procrastinate on getting things done, you’re letting those thoughts rule your life. You may be thinking that you can’t take action until all the ducks are in a row and things are perfect in your life.
That way of thinking causes a freeze or paralysis of your productivity and makes you feel as if you’re watching your life from the sidelines. You’re simply going through the motions.
But, when you fight past the negativity and become productive, the things that bothered you from the past will begin to fade and you can’t help but live in the present moment and look toward the future.
You may have some self-doubts in your mind that linger from others telling you that you can’t do something – because you are a woman, not handsome or pretty enough, don’t have the right educational background or something else.
It’s normal for those feelings of self-doubt to creep in to your thought process from time to time. Something will trigger it and it may have an effect on you, but when that happens, keep going – keep taking actions that will prove you wrong.
You may have to temporarily detach yourself from people or things that keep triggering the self-doubts and keeping you from success. Take some time to yourself and make plans and set goals that will keep your self-doubts in check.
Letting your self-doubt dictate your future success is essentially letting go of the control you have over your life – and that’s what you’re doing when you focus on all the reasons why you can’t do something rather than working toward doing it.
Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health to Ensure Positive Self Worth
It’s difficult to think of yourself as deserving when you don’t feel or look your best. It can happen before you know it when you let yourself go by ignoring the proper nutrition that keep you healthy and avoiding any type of exercise to keep you fit.
Lack of self-care takes a toll on your body and mind and you may begin to beat yourself up and listen to the negative self-talk that happens when you don’t feel your best. Taking care of your mental and physical health also helps to alleviate stress.
Mental and physical health goes hand in hand. When you’re in inferior physical shape, you’ll find it more difficult to challenge yourself mentally. Physical exercise releases chemicals in the brain that are critical for mental health.
Those chemicals provide a sense of well-being and self-worth that help you get ahead in anything you set your mind to. With a better mindset and attitude, there’s no limit to what you can accomplish.
You can begin your journey to self-care that will build your self-worth by giving up bad habits. Smoking, drinking to excess or binging on food prevent you from functioning at your best.
These and other bad habits usually come about because you need a crutch to explain your lack of accomplishment or desire for success. Ridding yourself of these chains that keep you down will cause you to look elsewhere for happiness.
It’s not easy to break bad habits and start over. Some are addictive and may require help from a professional such as a counselor or health care provider. Don’t be embarrassed to seek help.
No matter what your current economic or social situation is, you can take steps to improve your health and develop a good mental attitude. You don’t have to join a gym or subscribe to an expensive diet plan to begin.
Walking is considered one of the best exercises to keep your body fit and your mind active. It costs nothing. You can also make better choices about which foods to eat – and when to stop eating.
When you begin to take control of your life and make better choices, your self-worth will begin to improve and you’ll start to develop a can-do attitude that will lead to success in whatever you have a passion for.
You’re never too old or too down on your luck to take control of your life and improve your health, fitness and feelings of self-worth. Begin now. If you don’t take steps to move forward, you’ll continue to look at your life in the rear-view mirror.
Are Your Biggest Influencers Helpful or Hurtful?
There are so many people who can influence your life – social media celebrities, news stories, good friends, family members or business associates. It’s important to know who the influencers in your life are and if they’re helping or hurting your dreams of success.
Many times, negative influences are like wolves in sheep’s clothing. Someone may have the ability to make you laugh – and that would be good – but, if that same person always wants to have a good time rather than work, it could be a negative influence.
Awareness of good and bad influences on your life can help you become weed out what’s holding you back and become more in tune with what gets you motivated. For example, your goal at work might be to move into a management position.
To maximize the chances of you getting such a position, you know you need to work hard and appear professional. But, if you have a coworker/friend who encourages you to talk and pal around during working hours, s/he will be detrimental to your plans of success in the workplace.
Bad influences also include those who are constantly negative. These people are highly dissatisfied with their own lives and tend to leave you emotionally drained and sad. Your self-worth suffers and you become more negative about your dreams.
A helpful influence in your life is one that lifts you up rather than put down you and your dreams. Positive influencers make you feel proud and good about yourself. You likely feel more rested, motivated and inspired when you’ve been around them.
You may have noticed that some people currently in your life make you feel like you could do or accomplish anything. You smile when you’re with them and experience heightened self-worth and happiness when you think of them.
Sort out the people in your life who are negative and positive influences. Think about how you feel the majority of the time you’re with them. Categorize and write them down. It might also be helpful to write down the places where you feel negative influences.
Keep in mind that you could be your own worst influencer. Negative self-talk is a powerful force that keeps from pursuing your dreams. You must keep grounded in your beliefs and have high expectations of yourself to counteract that self-talk.
If your negative influences outweigh the positive ones, do something about it. Invite more people into your life who provide excellent guidance and empower you rather than steal your peace in life.
Learn to Live in the Present and Look to the Future
Your future success depends on your capacity for living in the present moment and planning for the future. Being tied to the past only detracts your focus from what you should be doing to past failures and obstacles you once encountered.
There’s no way you can expect to make exciting plans for the future when your present is tied up in negative thinking. It’s true that the past can be used as a learning tool to keep you from making future mistakes.
But, when the past becomes a hindrance to your future because you remain chained to it – you may never break free to reach your full potential. In this age where distractions are a normal part of life, it’s even more important that you learn to focus on the present.
Living in the present moment is also known as mindfulness. When you are mindful, you are attentively focused on your thoughts at the time. The experience you’re having in the present moment is foremost on your mind and you can observe them without judgment.
Mindfulness is the foundation of many eastern practices such as Taoism and Buddhism and can help reduce stress in your life. Other benefits include a better functioning immune system, lower blood pressure, pain relief and much more.
When you are mindful and living in the present moment you experience more self-worth and alleviate impulsive urges such as smoking, excessive drinking, binge eating and other habits that lead to low self-esteem.
If something is causing you distress, use mindfulness as a way to accept it and find a way to deal with it. Ignoring problems causes your mind to drift and making living in the moment much more difficult.
It’s much easier to live in the present moment and plan for the future when you’ve addressed and come to terms with the past and have let it go. It takes time and practice to train your mind to focus on the positive and live in the present.
Take time to meditate, take care of yourself, and surround yourself with positive people and other influences. Give up bad habits that are negative influences in your life and create a world around you that makes it possible to plan for a bright future.
Extend a Hand to Those Behind You to Boost Your Self Worth
One of the best ways to increase your feelings of your own self-worth is to help others succeed. There’s always someone who doesn’t know as much as you or who just needs a friend to cheer them along.
When you help someone else, you take the focus from you and your problems and reinforce the fact that you have a great deal to offer. You forget about your own insecurities and become grateful for what you have.
Your own weaknesses will be less in focus as you use your experience and knowledge to help others. As a result your self-confidence will expand as you positively affect the lives of others.
Volunteering is proven to make as much difference in the volunteer’s life as it does in the persons being helped. All of us have an inner self-critic that defines our success and worth as a person.
When you’re generous with others, that self-critic is generous with you and feeds you with positivity rather than negative self-talk. Generosity helps build yourself up both mentally and physically and gives you an enormous boost of self-worth.
Kindness toward others that comes from your heart switches your thought process from thinking about why you are worthless to how you can help others find their own self-worth through.
Extending a hand to others also helps you to see the positive things in your own life and to see how you’re deserving of what you have and what you want to become. Even a simple, heartfelt compliment to another can change that person’s day and perhaps even a life.
Think of reasons why you should appreciate yourself every day. For example, when you help another to feel good about him or herself, you should feel a sense of accomplishment and praise yourself that you have such a capacity to feel for others.
Praising yourself inwardly might feel awkward for a time, but you’ll eventually start to feel more positive about yourself. A deep appreciation of who you are and what you can be can change your self-worth and get rid of negative thoughts that hold you back.
You will come away from helping others with a true feeling that you’re not alone in your struggles – that everyone struggles with something and it doesn’t have to demean you or make you feel bad about yourself.
By helping others you’ll learn how not to base your self-worth on what you look like or what you have, but to turn inward and look at your very soul. Everything on the outside withers with time – your soul remains the same.