8 Tips for Becoming Comfortable with Power

8 Tips for Becoming Comfortable with Power

As you mature and grow into your life, you’re going to eventually assume progressively more powerful roles. At home, at work, or as an entrepreneur, the interesting thing is that once you have a position or title, everyone perceives your power, but it’s not given to you by them. To become more comfortable with power, follow these 8 tips.

1.Embrace Your Aspirations

For some reason, many people feel they cannot acknowledge their ambitions. This is especially true for women. They often hide their aspirations from others because they don’t want other people to criticize them or dissuade them. Ambition is normal. You don’t have to be miserable in the present to want more for the future. State what you want and do it with pride.

2.Avoid Negative Self Talk

It’s hard to totally avoid negative self-talk but what you can do is to train yourself that when you hear that negative talk in your mind to transition the thought to something positive or even neutral. Some studies even suggest that for bad days turning your negativity into something more neutral is just as effective as being falsely positive for helping you change your mindset.

3.Ask for Help When Needed

One thing that many people falsely assume as they move into their power through personal growth and development, their career, and homelife is that no one knows everything, and no one can be the expert on everything. Plus, there are always going to be things you don’t know and the worst thing about that is you may not even know what you don’t know enough to explain it or ask the right questions. For this reason, ask for help and bring in experts to help you make better choices.

4.Share Opinions and Ideas Confidently

When asked, give feedback by sharing your opinions and ideas. Share your thoughts confidently. When you do this, it will highlight your confidence and make you seem even more knowledgeable and powerful. Some people will appreciate what you say, even when you share negative aspects. Other people will focus on the negatives and that’s okay as long as you are truthful, and you share from an unbiased point of view. Just make sure that you keep everything confidential so you each gain and feel the trust.

5.Accept and Acknowledge Your Fears

Powerful people have fears too. It’s fine to have them and totally normal and natural. One reason people have so much imposter syndrome is due to buying into the idea that people “up there” don’t have the same fears that everyone else has. The good news is that everyone on the earth has fears, even the President of the United States or a ruler of the most oppressive regime. Strong man or not, they are also fearful. But it’s when you accept and acknowledge it that it loses its power over you.

6.Find Time to Be Quiet

Your brain needs downtime each day to renew while also still awake. Take time to be in a quiet place so that your brain can recharge. Go for a walk in the park, meditate, try float therapy. Do what you can to give your brain time to reset each day either through meditation or something else that is planned and quiet.

7.Be Open-Minded

Open-minded people listen to what others say, are empathetic, and are able to hear feedback without being defensive. They can listen to other ideas and accept them even when they disagree with them. Open-mindedness makes you curious about what other people think and keeps you very considerate of diversity. Plus, it’s much easier to keep your cool when something goes wrong.

8.Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

The only way to grow is to experience some discomfort. If your life is just a breeze with no stress whatsoever, you are probably not living up to your potential. When you leave your comfort zone, you enable growth to take place. Learning new things and doing the things that make you feel a little difficult or uneasy will make you feel good about yourself when you’ve gone through it due to the dopamine release, you’ll experience.

The truth is, the more you’re able to disregard your discomfort, the more you’re going to be able to take your position of power and use it for good. The good you can create in your life and others is also a very powerful thing that cannot be denied. And true power, authentic power, comes from you and not anyone else.

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How Your Brain Chemically Triggers Confidence When You Exercise

People with high levels of self-esteem are self-aware. They know who they are, what they are about, and have a clearly defined value system. No matter what happens in their life, they can make it through because they are confident in the decisions they make, since they clearly understand themselves and are self-assured in their actions and behaviors.

Self-esteem perpetuates confidence, and confidence can help build self-esteem.

This is due to how your brain works when you accomplish something. If your brain recognizes something you did or thought as being positive in some way, endorphins and other pleasure-inducing chemicals are released. This just makes sense. By rewarding behavior that promotes happiness and health, your brain encourages you to perform those positive actions again in the future. This happens today because of a process which started with early man.

The Fight or Flight Process

Your earliest ancestors had a very tough time getting through life. Danger lurked around every turn, and each day was filled with problems that made mere survival very difficult. So, it was important for the human brain to develop a pleasurable reward system when one of your cave-dwelling predecessors had a successful hunt, found nuts and berries to eat or started a fire.

That same reward system is alive and well in the human mind today.

Many times, when faced with a threat, which happened on a regular, daily basis, your ancestors had to make an instant decision whether to fight or flee. They may have been faced with a saber-toothed tiger, a dangerous environment, or some other threat. When this happened, the fight or flight process made their senses come alive.

Every fiber of their being was on high alert. Their minds were instantly focused and clear. Their muscles tensed, their heart began beating faster, to send oxygenated blood to all of their muscles, and they were prepared to either run away from the threat, or fight it.

 
This is the exact same process that happens when you exercise.

The number of life-threatening dangers you encounter these days are few and far between, especially when compared with early humans. However, the fight or flight process which releases positively empowering endorphins and hormones is the same as it was back then. Since fleeing or fighting in the face of danger triggers a lot of the same processes and chemical responses that exercise does, exercise can give you a boost of self-confidence.

Success Breeds Confidence

When prehistoric man encountered a cave bear, he sensed two things – a threat to his existence, and a potentially large food supply. The first time he had to fight a cave bear, he was probably scared to death. However, upon successfully defeating that dangerous threat to himself and his clan, a surge of self-confidence was the reward. Accordingly, he became more confident and sure of his actions as he encountered cave bears in the future.

The same exact chemicals which promote confidence, higher levels of self-esteem and self-assuredness that your cave bear-defeating ancestors enjoyed is triggered when you exercise. The physical activity required for prehistoric man to take down a large, dangerous opponent or threat mimics the same tensing, stretching, lifting, bending and moving that takes place during common exercises.

Since your brain doesn’t understand the difference between exercise and noticing a threat to your existence, confidence-boosting endorphins are released. The physiological process that happens when you exercise also boosts your immune system, reducing your risk from becoming infected or contracting disease.

So, in many ways, exercise, mild or intensive, for young and
old, men and women, for the weak and the strong, creates
an automatic process which can build confidence.

The role of exercise and promoting confidence and belief in self also has to do with the results you see. You get a sense of achievement when you notice your exercise efforts are paying off in some way. You may be losing weight, running faster, thinking more clearly, or accomplishing some physical goal that you set.

As you see yourself progressing towards some reward or goal that exercise is enabling you to achieve, you can’t help but feel good about yourself. This may include liking how you look in front of a mirror for the first time in years. Your exercise may lead to compliments from others, which not only cranks up your confidence, but promotes your desire to continue exercising to keep receiving such compliments.
Combined with the “feel good” endorphins which relieve stress and make you feel great psychologically, your feelings of accomplishment positively compound your confidence and self-esteem. As it turns out, confidence in one area often leads to confident belief in other aspects of your life. So take up an exercise program today for physical and mental benefits, an unconscious, automatic release of hormones that will make you feel good about yourself, and a strong belief of confidence in your abilities.

The Role Giving Plays in Building Confidence

Your emotions are directly related to chemical processes that automatically occur in your body. When you feel happy, healthy and content, the hormones and chemicals which promote stress automatically begin to dissipate. Endorphins and other chemicals which promote a healthy body and happy outlook, and actually boost your immune system, are released. This is the automatic, unconscious way that your mind promotes you to take care of yourself.

The opposite can also occur.

Cortisol is nicknamed the “stress hormone” for a very good reason. It triggers inflammation throughout your body, which can lead to physical as well as emotional problems. Cortisol levels spike when emotions like fear, anxiety and uncertainty are experienced. Your body’s negative response to poor emotional states is the brain’s way of telling you to adopt positive emotions instead.

This relates to how giving and charity can be used to boost your confidence.

When you are upbeat, happy, healthy and feel good about life, it is easy to be confident. You are living proof that the actions you are taking and the things you are doing are impacting you in a positive manner. This means you are confident in your ability to create a positive living environment, and achieve results which are desirable to you.

If you lack confidence, try donating your time, possessions or money to a worthy individual or a needy cause. Studies show that the chemical rewards of giving promote positive feelings of self-worth. Giving of your time or some other resource to someone who is not as fortunate as you make you feel good about yourself.

Consciously and subconsciously you recognize this charitable behavior as producing positive emotions and results. Just as it does when it senses happiness and peacefulness, your brain rewards your positive behavior with a rush of pleasurable chemicals throughout your body.

Give to Others to Get Confidence and Self-Esteem

This provides a very easy way you can boost your confidence and adopt a strong, healthy belief in yourself. The dopamine, endorphins and other chemicals which promote happiness and self-assuredness are present even in the smallest acts of giving or charity. This means that simply holding a door for someone can trigger a small boost of confidence in yourself.

Incredibly, research shows that the improvements in self-esteem, self-worth and confidence are not related solely to
the giver.

The person on the receiving end of an unexpected good deed often times feels better about themselves as well. Subconsciously they deem themselves worthy of receiving an act of generosity, which boosts their self-image.

 
James Fowler is a Professor of Medical Genetics and Political Science at the University of California in San Diego. His research shows that one person doing a good deed, giving of their time, money or some other resource, often starts a positive and amazing trend. That small act is returned by the recipient of the good deed. They reach out to someone else, often several people, with an act of generosity as well.

Everyone begins to feel good about who they are, their confidence and self-esteem is boosted, which makes them more likely to help someone else in the future. The scientific term for this altruistic marvel is “upstream reciprocity”.

In layman’s terms, the recipient of a good deed, or of a caring, giving action, adopts a “pay it forward” attitude. They may not be in a position to pay back the person that positively impacted their life. So instead, their newly stoked self-esteem and confidence leads them to search out others less fortunate than themselves. The chain of giving continues, and professor Fowler has noted that in many situations, this happy domino effect can spark significant and positive change for many.

Giving is selfless. But it can also provide a selfish boost of confidence that leads to a more positive self-image, and triggers a chain event of positivity.

Self-Esteem vs Confidence – Is There a Difference?

Whatever you feel, whatever emotion you are processing at any given moment, your mental state triggers hormonal and chemical releases. When you enjoy high levels of confidence and self-esteem, you naturally boost your resistance to disease and infection. The chemical processes attached to being self-assured and thinking highly of yourself are related to corresponding high levels of mental and physical health and well-being.

These are automatic processes.

Your mind is very selfish. It wants you to feel good. So when you do feel good about yourself, and confident in your actions, your brain rewards those feelings by making your body and your mind happy and healthy. Alternately, when you doubt yourself and lack confidence, even in small, simple endeavors, negative hormones and chemicals are your unfortunate reward.

This negative response leads to high levels of stress and inflammation, which in turn can become the jumping off point for a long list of mental and physical health problems.

While confidence and self-esteem both impact your overall health and well-being in a positive way, they are not the same. They are definitely related in some ways, and entirely different in others. Let’s take a look at each of these positive self-beliefs individually, for a deeper understanding of how they are alike and different.

Confidence

The way you feel about your abilities in particular situations dictates your level of self-confidence. This can vary from time to time, depending on the situation or set of circumstances you find yourself in.

You may have a high level of confidence in the kitchen. You have been cooking, baking, broiling, boiling, sautéing and frying for years. You have yet to run across a recipe you couldn’t turn into a mouthwatering and delicious experience. Even when presented with something you have never prepared before, you have absolutely no doubt that the finished product you create will be perfect.

That same sky-high level of confidence may disappear entirely if you are asked to speak before a large group about cooking. Even though you have a wealth of information on the subject, the idea of standing in front of a large public audience absolutely leaves you shaking in your shoes. Although you are more than confident about your cooking ability, you are less than confident about your ability to speak in public.

By working at something, you can become better at it. This raises your level of confidence, which in turn boosts your belief in yourself, promoting a healthy level of self-esteem.

Self-Esteem

Think of self-esteem as self-love. You either hold yourself in high or low self-esteem. While confidence can be defined as how you feel about your abilities to accomplish certain things, self-esteem is how you feel about yourself overall. Just as confidence can build by repeating certain behaviors or tasks, a high or low level of self-esteem usually develops from multiple experiences and circumstances you have encountered in your life.

The situations you have witnessed or personally encountered that have had some type of impact you shape how you view yourself right now. Children who are told they are worthless and will never amount to anything experience low levels of self-esteem. The people they look up to, admire and respect tell them they are not worthy of love and caring, and these recurring life experiences years later create an adult that lacks self-love and self-worth.

The opposite is also true.

When you love yourself, your level of self-esteem improves dramatically. People with high levels of self-esteem are more confident. As your self-esteem grows, your confidence not only lends itself to things you are familiar with and good at accomplishing, but you are confident you can handle unfamiliar situations as well. As long as you love yourself, and own a high level of self-esteem, you are ready to tackle any task or endeavor confidently.

A Wonderful Cycle of Mental Health and Well-Being

Even if you don’t think much of yourself, you can boost your confidence through repetition of a task. You eventually become good at it, and your self-esteem skyrockets. This improved belief in self lends itself towards confidence in taking on familiar, and even unfamiliar, situations, experiences and endeavors. This creates a beautiful, self-perpetuating cycle that effortlessly promotes mental and emotional health and well-being.

How You Can Build Confidence Through Simple, Daily Routines

Are you a confident person? Do you lack confidence and belief in self? Either way, there is a simple routine you can follow to call upon confidence and high levels of self-esteem whenever you want. That routine is … building daily routines!

We are going to get scientific for just a moment.

The medial temporal lobe (MTL) in your brain reinforces familiarity and recollection. When one of your 5 senses experiences something that you have encountered before, and it made a memorable enough impression upon you, your MTL triggers your recognition memory. Even if the thing you encountered triggers a negative memory, your brain is confident in its ability to understand the experiences that surround that memory, and to respond accordingly.

Confidence arises when you understand what is about to happen, something is familiar to you, and you responded with a positive performance or reaction in the past when that same situation occurred. You have seen this series of events unfold before, you responded, and the outcome was favorable. This makes you confident when presented with the same scenario in the future.

You can use this to your advantage to build confidence.

Because of the way your MTL works, familiar memories are accompanied by lower levels of cortisol than unfamiliar experiences. Cortisol is famously nicknamed the “stress hormone”. When levels of stress and anxiety are lower, it is easier to feel confident about yourself. Serotonin and endorphins are a couple of neurotransmitters that help stabilize your mood and make you feel calm, peaceful and stress-free. They are more prevalent when you encounter something that is both positive and familiar.

Now let’s look at routines.

A routine is simply a “sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program”. Studies show that any new routine practiced daily for 3 to 10 weeks becomes a subconscious and automatic behavior, rather than an action that has to be consciously thought about. Therefore, if you want to become a more confident person, develop some simple daily routines that eventually become unconscious and automatic, and your brain will trigger the release of chemicals which lower stress and promote confidence.

What Specific Daily Routines Bolster Confidence?

The beauty of the routines/confidence relationship means that any regularly followed pattern of behavior will help you feel confident and self-assured. The magnitude or difficulty level of the daily habits you perform are not important. Because of the way your brain makes you feel when something is familiar, like a regular, daily routine, the chemical reaction which is triggered in your body promotes less stress and anxiety, and makes you feel certain and confident in your abilities, whether your routine is simple or complex.

Why Confident People Are So Sure about Their Values and Beliefs

Your values are the things you believe in. When something is important to you and you hold in high regard, or it is useful in making you healthy and happy, you place a very high value on it. Values can be different from one person to the next. Consider them your standards or principles of behavior.

Simply put, your values are your judgment of the things
that are important in your life.

When you are weak of mind and suffer from poor self-esteem, your values are not very concrete. You don’t look upon yourself as worthy of admiration or respect, from you or others. Because of this, it naturally follows that you believe your values must not be that important. Subconsciously you think, “If I am not confident in myself or my actions, it must be because my values are not worthy of defense or strong belief.”

Why Confident People Are Confident

Everyone has values. Some people take their value system with them to the grave, while others seemingly adopt a new set of “important” beliefs on a regular basis. The difference has to do with confidence. If you are absolutely certain that the things you judge as important in your life are as essential to your existence as oxygen, you will display an unwavering a confidence about the people, places and things you value dearly.

As it turns out, science has found that confidence is not a singularly located emotion. In other words, someone who is confident about their ability to perform their job can’t help but have a high level of self-assuredness in other behaviors and activities. Confidence spreads through your system in a good way.

As you develop a strong self-belief in one area of your life, you begin to develop confidence in other areas as well. The more self-esteem and self-confidence you accumulate, the more absolutely certain you become that your opinions, values and actions are infallible.

Confidence Bolsters a Strong Belief System, and Strongly Held Values Promote Confidence

In a way, confidence fosters and protects your values. However, the opposite is also true. If you have a concrete, well-defined value system, it is easy to be confident. Think about it. If you know without a shadow of a doubt which people, places and things are extremely important to you, confidence and self-esteem are natural byproducts.

Regardless of what anyone else thinks, when you are certain that your values are correct, you defend them without a second thought. This kind of unwavering belief in self is shown in people with strong value systems. It is also a characteristic of self-confidence. If your values are not clearly defined and strongly held, you will suffer from a weak character. It is very difficult to be confident in mind and action when you are uncertain about your own values, and when they are guarded only with weakness.

The Positively Viral Nature of Confidence

Did you know that you really can’t be confident in just one thing or ability? When you have a high level of belief in your ability to do a particular thing, your entire being is imbued with a belief that silently says, “If I am incredibly good at this one thing, why can’t I be good at everything?”

Confidence in any endeavor naturally and automatically creates a belief system that you can probably also do other things well. This lowers levels of stress and anxiety, in addition to removing your fear of failure. You are accordingly willing to take more risks, try new things, and learn new skill sets, which leads to higher levels of achievements in any course of action you decide to undertake.

Your Confidence Helps Others Succeed

Have you ever been around a supremely confident individual? If you spend enough time around that person, you will unconsciously develop a stronger self-image. Consciously you may have thought, “How can I also develop such a high level of belief in myself?” On the unconscious level however, your mind is already going to work lowering your risk aversion, dropping your levels of anxiety and stress, and increasing levels of hormones and other chemicals which boost confidence.

You may have heard people refer to a single athlete that makes everyone else on the team better. This is how incredibly powerful confidence is. It is viral, but in a good way, leading to higher levels of achievement and self-esteem wherever it is found.

Coupled with the fact that “actions speak louder than words”, self-confidence seen in one individual shows others what is possible. When you see someone who is comfortable with who they are, a person who is always positive, happy and smiling, who seems to never let anything ruin their mood, you can’t help but begin to feel the same way.

This natural law of confidential influence can be used to elevate performance, and accordingly the achievements, or any group of individuals. You can use it to help your children feel good about themselves, a mental state which leads to improved social interaction and better grades in school.

If you’re the head of a corporation, sales group, local charity, sports team or any other collection of human beings working towards a common goal, displaying confidence automatically raises your chances of success and achievement.

Look at people who are super-confident. How do they stand? What is their body language like? How do they talk or communicate? How do they walk? Mirror these behaviors yourself, and you will notice you automatically feel more capable and successful. Once you firmly believe you can confidently undertake any task or approach any endeavor successfully, you pass this supercharged self-belief on to others around you.