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Competence is the true building block of real confidence

Let's get one thing clear. There are all sorts of fake types of confidence out there. After all, the whole idea of faking it until you make it is actually still popular in the United States. A lot of people are under the impression that as long as you look successful, that's all that matters. Real success will eventually catch up with you.

By the same token, there are no shortage of people who believe that as long as other people buy into the idea that you know what you’re talking about then this is as good as the real thing. These are the types of people who make a big deal out of formal titles or one’s placement on any kind of organizational chart. The idea is that your role defines you. In other words, if you carry a title, your title somehow some way bestows some sort of instant competence on you.

Both of these idea involve magical thinking. There are simply too many leaps of faith as well as logic required for people to accept these and for these to have actual effects. Sadly, there are so many people who believe in faking it until they make it. The line of people who believe that their titles or how others view them truly determines who they are is actually quite long.

Of course, as everybody knows, all this is a fallacy because there's a profound difference between looking like you know how to do things and actually being able to deliver. Sadly, we have a society that is so obsessed about self esteem that it equates it with self confidence which turns out to be a false type of confidence.

Remember, it doesn't really matter whether you think you know how to build a bridge or not. It doesn't matter if you think you're a genius or not. What matters is whether you are able to perform what society asks of you.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Unfortunately, a lot of people who place a lot more importance on self confidence built on self esteem fall apart. They just crumble like a house of cards because they have build their confidence on something that's not real.

Competence is the true building block of real confidence because it's tried, tested and you only develop competence when you face adversity, challenges and failure. Sure, there's a tremendous amount of discomfort and inconvenience getting to this point, but that's precisely the point.

It's not something that you get just for showing up. It's not just some sort of door prize. It's something that you fight for. It's something that you earn. It's something that you sacrifice for.

If you want to build your self confidence on something real, click here. You will get the inside scoop on how to develop self confidence that will not fall or fade or disintegrate in the face of difficulties. If you want to be the only person in a crowd that will be able to stick to something for however long it takes until you achieve victory, click here.

Self esteem without competence is a recipe for failure

For the longest time, in the United States and elsewhere, educational policy makers bought into the idea of self esteem. Please understand that self esteem is a good thing. Nobody's disputing that. However, according to this educational policy philosophy, for students to perform well in life, they need to have their self esteem built up and encouraged early on.

Again, just like the observation that self esteem is a good thing, this seems pretty good on the surface. What's there to argue about. The problem is if you are going to be building your self esteem based on affirmations and being made to feel good about who you are without any accomplishments or physical results produced by your efforts to back it up.

You are building your house on sand. This is precisely what happened with generations of youth fed on the steady diet of self esteem stimulation. That's really what it is. You just stimulated the formation of self esteem not through actual achievements, accomplishments, sacrifice, hard work and other traditional indicators of success.

Instead, people got self esteem by being respected for showing up. That's it. That's all you need to do. You just need to show up and you get a prize for participation. According to this school of thought, your feelings are paramount.

If only things worked that way. Sadly, a lot of people who base their self-esteem on the fact that they happened to show up know deep down inside that their confidence is hollow. They know that this is not the way real life works. They know that the world may have some rude surprises waiting for them. No wonder, many people with supreme self-esteem are very frustrated and confused.

As long as you're feeling okay about yourself, then there's really not much difference between what you think and what everybody else thinks. You are entitled to your estimation of yourself, the rightness of your action, so on and so fort.

What this created is self esteem that produced a very hollow self confidence. People definitely can feel that they can do stuff, but they can only do it in theory. When they're actually given challenges to produce and deliver results, most people, who focus primarily on self esteem without the matching competence, fall apart like a house of cards.

Self esteem without competence is a recipe for failure. If you're having a tough time in any area of your life or you feel you're frustrated or stuck in any area of your life, maybe it's because of this. Sure, you feel good about yourself and it seems like you have a high estimate of your ability to get things done.

Unfortunately, unless and until that high estimation is based on actual experience and results, you're just wasting your time. It's probably going to be very hard for you to overcome challenges. It's probably very tempting for you to just quit the moment you're confronted with actual difficulty.

If you're suffering from any of these, thankfully there is a fairly straightforward and simple solution. Click here for the solution.